Ready . . . .

My middlest brother, Joel Emerson, has a heart of gold! He also has a passion for helping others. One way he demonstrates his passion is by participating in the annual St. Baltrick’s Shave to raise awareness and funds for research in the fight against childhood cancer. Last year, and again this year, he honored me by asking me to “do the honors” of shaving his head and chin! And last year I shared a little of what that means to me. With a few updates, I’d like to share my thoughts again after yesterday’s shave!

Set . . . .

Like my brother, Joel, I’m a cancer survivor. And like everyone, I’ve had friends and family touched by cancer, either by a glancing blow or a fatal encounter. My brother, aunts and uncles, grandparents, father, in-laws and friends have all fought the cancer battle. Some have overcome, others won the ultimate battle and were rewarded with heaven. I refuse to say “They lost their battle with cancer!”

Done!

Few escape this life without an encounter with cancer. The difference for each of us is how we face the enemy. How we fight the battle. The war is already won. Jesus paid the ultimate price, fought the deciding battle, and won the war. Next weekend, as we celebrate Easter, we remember His sacrificial death on our behalf, we are reminded of God’s love for us in sending His one and only Son to pay our penalty, and we are grateful for the guarantee of our victory over death, even death by cancer.

Sharing the shave . . . .

So how do we face the enemy? My strategy was to fight with all the resources God had given the medical world. Not because I fear death, but because I believe God has provided those resources to give us more days in this life to do the work that He has for us to do. I believe that when God is ready to take me home, He will … and if that time had been 10 years ago, then all the medical knowledge and technology in the universe wouldn’t have overcome His plan. However, I also believe that He has gifted researchers and doctors and other medical professionals in order for them to discover medicines and cures to help cancer-stricken people win the battle and go on to serve and minister in His name.

Double Done . . . .

I’ll be honest, cancer was an awful experience, but at the same time, it was one of the most blessed times of my life. Thanks to cancer, I came to a richer, deeper, and fuller relationship with God and with my family. Thanks to cancer, I had to slow down and savor the life that I had begun to rush through and take for granted. Cancer is terrible, the side effects of treatment are horrific, but looking through the lens of HOPE, I could see God’s Hand leading me through that dark valley of the shadow of death, onto a new path.

Having experienced cancer myself, I was better equipped to be a care-giver for my dad during his year of cancer. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t all-wise, all-knowing, and super-strong … I was just “experienced” and compassionate due to my own journey. Now as we face my husband’s cancer recovery, I’m a little more experienced not just as a cancer survivor, but also as a care-giver. God works things out that way … preparing us to be the instruments of His love as we minister to others in His Name.

Having said all that, I want to make two things perfectly clear:

First, I don’t believe for one second that God causes cancer! Cancer is the consequence of a sinful, fallen world. Our society throughout history has lived in rebellion against God and His laws. Laws put in place to protect us, but which we have ignored. I believe that rebellion has created the atmosphere in which cancer has flourished. And the result is an epidemic of cancers that plague even the young and innocent. Could God wipe out cancer with a flick of His hand? Of course, but He has given us the gift of free will, the privilege to choose to follow Him. And even when we abuse that privilege, He won’t force us to change. Therefore, we have to live with the consequences of our bad judgement, our wrong choices, our SIN. And children, as well as adults, have to bear the burden of those consequences, including the burden of cancer.

Second, even though I have found my own cancer experiences to be laced with blessings, I don’t wish that children should have to suffer cancer. Just as God allows us to experience the consequences of our sin, He also gives us the wisdom to discover cures and remedies for many of those consequences. I remember the plague of polio when I was a child. And I remember the joy of the world, when a cure was found. We hear of fewer and fewer cases of many of the childhood diseases that I grew up knowing about and being vaccinated against, because medical technology has found cures. I know that God is pleased that mankind is seeking a cure for childhood cancer. I know that He blesses the efforts of the medical world as they research and experiment until they find ways to alleviate the effects of cancer, and someday eradicate all traces of the disease in all its forms. And I’m sure His is pleased at the efforts of lay people whose hearts are touched by the faces and stories of children and their families ravaged by cancer; and who are motivated to do whatever they can to help erase the threat and fear of childhood cancer.

I am humbled to have the opportunity to contribute, even minutely, to the cause of eliminating childhood cancer.

And I am so proud of Joel for taking up the cause to raise awareness and funds to defeat childhood cancer.

And I’m grateful that an organization like St. Baltrick’s is in place to raise awareness and funds to fight the battle for the beautiful, innocent children who are caught in the grip of cancer and all its ugliness.

In 2 Chronicles, God’s prophet tells the king who is facing insurmountable odds, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” God is on our side. He will win the battle and the war against cancer. But as we see in the passage, He expects us to work with Him. Listen to what He tells the king, “Tomorrow march down against them.” In other words, He didn’t tell them to sit back, step aside, and let Me do this for you. He went with them into battle. They fought the battle together, with God. So I encourage others to join the battle in whatever ways God leads – shaving or sharing!

For us, the message is this: trust God to win the war against cancer, but in the meantime, “march down against” cancer with all we’ve got to do battle with – whether that’s science, or medicine, or money, or whatever else God has given us to use in this war! The battle is God’s, but the army is us!

In His presence,
bb

It’s no secret, I LOVE to read! And one of my favorite reading resources is the Reader’s Digest that arrives in my mailbox every month. It brings a variety of subjects, opinions, theories, and perspectives for me to consider, learn from, or discount. Often I’m inspired by stories of good deeds done, or horrified by outrageous injustices, or puzzled by scientific theories. And sometimes, as was the case this month, I’m motivated to search the Scriptures to discount or counter an article that doesn’t “sit right.”

A short and thought-provoking article called “How to Get Lucky – four habits that can set us all up for good fortune” caught my attention to the point that I couldn’t get it out of my head. Here’s the thing, I just don’t believe in “luck.” So this article kind of grabbed me by the eyeballs and made me think about the difference in Good Luck and Real Hope. Although I view the concept of luck with a bit of disdain, there was something about that article that reminded me of Scripture passages that are familiar and precious to me. How crazy is that – an article about luck bringing scripture to my mind!

Allow me to unpack my thoughts a bit. I think of Luck as “chance.” Webster’s simple definition of chance is the possibility that something will happen or the way that events happen when they are not planned or controlled by people. The RD article’s sub-title, “four habits that can set us all up for good fortune” appears to be counter to the chance concept. The idea put forth in the article seems to suggest that we can enhance the possibility for good fortune or chance or luck by our own efforts. Hmmmm???

I would suggest that Hope is a more secure concept for us to pursue. Now Webster’s definition of hope goes like this: to cherish a desire with anticipation, to trust, to desire with expectation of obtainment, to expect with confidence. Look at how different the hope descriptions are: desire with anticipation, trust, expectation of obtainment, expect with confidence. Whereas luck is described as possibility, not planned, not controlled. I’ll take trust and confidence over possibility any day!

In the RD article, the writer offered four ways to promote good luck. As I pondered those suggested habits, I was reminded of several scripture passages that, rather than totally countering the habits, give them a more hopeful perspective. See what you think.

1. The writer said “Expect good things” because “expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies.” Self-assurance, according to the writer, makes one more motivated and optimistic, and the more chances one will risk to succeed. But Romans 15:13 says: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. That tells me that I don’t have to “take chances” because I can TRUST and HOPE (have confidence) that God will bring joy, peace, power – and that says “success” to me!

2. The writer further advises “Court chance” by meeting more people, throwing a little chaos into your life, staying open to possibilities. The mere mention of the word “chaos” doesn’t do it for me! That’s definitely not what I want in my life! But chaos will come if we strike out on our own. Is chaos really a sign of “good luck”? In Proverbs 3:5-6 Solomon says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I don’t have to “court chance” by leaning on my own understanding, because I can TRUST the Lord and when I do, He will make my way clear – no chaos here!

3. The writer says we should “Look for silver linings.” This is where she caught my attention most, because I thought “she’s on to something here.” However she sees this concept as “lucky” where I see it from this Biblical view: In Romans 8:28 we read, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. She says: “Finding value in bad luck can help your brain process situations differently….Lucky people are able to transform a stumbling block into a positive event.” The “silver lining” for me is not just a matter of finding value in bad luck, but rather knowing that God is in control, that He has my best interest in mind, and that He will bring good out of the “bad luck” that comes with life.

4. Finally she states “Trust your gut.” She shares an account of a woman who “trusted her gut” and pulled over just before a trucker lost control and crashed. The woman would have been involved in a devastating accident if she hadn’t “trusted her gut” and pulled off the road. Well, I have to say that my gut isn’t trustworthy, but my God is! I believe that the Holy Spirit is actively involved in my life and often He will direct me out of danger. Holy Spirit, Guardian Angel, your gut … which is it? Does it matter what we call “it”? As a believer, I’ll just go with the psalmist who says in Psalm 91:2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Now I know there will be those who counter this with Why? Why was one person directed out of danger and not the one who was caught in the crash? Well, there are no easy answers to those kinds of questions. There are lots and lots of speculations, but that’s much too much to tackle here! Bottom line for me is that whatever happens, whether I’m directed out of danger or caught in the crash of life, God will bring good because He loves me and knows what’s best for me. I don’t have to “trust my gut” as long as I trust my God!

As for me, I choose to claim the promise of God as it’s so beautifully stated in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God’s plans for me include hope — No luck needed!

Good Luck or Real Hope? Maybe it’s two sides of the same coin – secular view vs. scriptural view? What do you think?

Check out the article on page 35 in the February 2016 issue of Reader’s Digest, “How to Get Lucky” by Kate Rockwood, from Health.com.

“Why me?”

You’ve been there … you plan your day, stay on track, don’t get side-lined by distractions like the morning news or Facebook and Twitter or phone chit-chat. And then you pat yourself on the back as you climb in the car and head to your appointment with plenty of time to arrive, not just on time, but early! Then you pull out onto the highway and come to a standstill … there are “parked” vehicles as far as you can see. Whether it’s an accident, or construction, or some other annoying occurrence, your best-laid plans for an early arrival are now dashed! And the natural response? “Why me?” You did everything you were supposed to do, and yet here you sit waiting, and waiting, and waiting … and fuming!

How about the time you sat in the doctor’s office and heard those life-changing words: “It’s malignant!” You’d lived a relatively healthy life-style – you avoided smoking and drinking alcohol, you ate fairly healthy, you even exercised occasionally, and basically you avoided all the obvious pitfalls of wild living. So “Why me?”

You drive defensively, but you still get side-swiped by that kid in his daddy’s car. “Why me?”

You work your butt off on projects at work, and somebody else gets the promotion. “Why me?”

You put in your 20 years and look forward to retirement, and the economy bottoms out, so it’s back to the rat race. “Why me?”

Years ago, I heard my parents talking about a friend whose son had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The father’s reaction, and understandable so, was “Why me? Why do I have to lose my son? Why does my son have to go through this?” The response of his wife, the mother of the terminally ill young man, was “Why NOT us? Who would you choose to take our place?” Every time I’m tempted to say “Why me?” whether I’m sitting in stalled traffic or in the doctor’s office with a stalled heart, I remember this wise mother’s words. It puts my own circumstances in proper perspective. I don’t deserve to avoid pain and suffering any more than someone else deserves to be hit by pain and suffering.

So what does “Why me?” have to do with HOPE anyway? If we’re all going to face life’s hard times and frustrations and annoyances, then where’s the HOPE? What’s the point of being hopeful?

A recent Facebook video reminded me of another way of asking the question “Why me?” (Please excuse the ads. I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of ’em!) Check out this old song by Kris Kristofferson:

Why Me

Why me Lord what have I ever done
To deserve even one of the pleasures I’ve known?
Lord, what did I ever do
That was worth lovin’ You or the kindness You’ve shown?

Lord help me, Jesus, I’ve wasted it so,
Help me, Jesus, I know what I am.
But now that I know that I’ve needed You so,
Help me, Jesus, my soul’s in Your hand.

Try me, Lord, if You think there’s a way
I can try to repay all I’ve taken from You.
Maybe Lord, I can show someone else
What I go through myself, on my way back to You.

Lord help me, Jesus, I’ve wasted it so,
Help me, Jesus, I know what I am.
But now that I know that I’ve needed You so,
Help me, Jesus, my soul’s in Your hand.
Jesus, my soul’s in your hand.

The bottom line is this: If we’re going to ask “Why me?” when we’re faced with tough times, then we need to be ready to answer the other “Why me?” and acknowledge the grace, mercy, love, and HOPE that Jesus has showered on us. And that will help us answer “Why me?” with humble gratitude … and HOPE!

What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us. You can be sure that the more we undergo sufferings for Christ, the more he will shower us with his comfort and encouragement.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Living Bible (TLB)

What about you? What’s your response to “Why me?”

September 23, 1967

It’s been 48 years since this shy, sheltered teenage girl became a wife to that handsome boy-next-door! It seems like only yesterday … but the mirror tells me the truth. The mirror, the scales, the aches and pains … the reality of married life is more than evident.

But it’s been a wonderful life together. We’ve known the blessing of beautiful children and grandchildren, shared the curse of cancer, experienced the heartache of losing parents — each of us supporting the other through all that life together brought our way.

And it’s a comfortable life. We’ve had our share of discomfort through our cancer journeys and our care-giving and our losses. But those tough times showed us that we have what we need in each other to survive … and not just survive, but thrive! We’ve discovered that it’s the hard times that bring us together. The rough spots in the journey remind us that we don’t have forever, so we better spend the time we have enjoying our blessings. We’ve learned to slow down and relax and be comfortable together.

Yeah, the moonlight and roses may have turned to daylight and dishes, but I’d do it all again … as long as I can share the daylight and dishes with the boy next door!

Ever since I was a child I’ve had this uncanny knack for spotting four-leaf clovers. I can be walking along, look down at a patch of clover, and the one and only four-leaf variety seems to jump up and grab my eyeballs! But lately, as I’ve gotten older, busier, and more cynical, I haven’t seen many of these anomalies of nature.

The past few weeks had been more stressful than usual since the doctor’s call that changed our lives forever: On his 71^st birthday, David, my husband, got the news that he had a large growth/tumor on his kidney that would require surgery. The limbo from that call until the surgeon’s call seemed eternal! And the latest call was no less distressing than the first: the growth had indeed invaded the vein between the kidney and the main renal vein, and it may have moved into the main renal vein as well. This was not good news. We had hoped to hear that the tumor was contained, but this was a disturbing development, indeed.

After the stress of the weeks and this news, I needed to get away and pray and weep and vent my frustrations. So I grabbed the dog, and headed out the door under the pretense of Mollie needing “to go.” Striding across the yard, head down, beginning my tirade, there it was … a four-leaf clover!

Without thinking I bent over and picked it … then proceeded to preach to myself that there’s no such thing as a four-leaf clover bringing good luck … you don’t believe in luck … what did you pull it for? And on and on …

But as I looked at those four leaves sparkling with tiny water droplets, an old ditty began to play in my head. If you’re as old as I am, you might remember it:

I’m looking over a four-leaf clover,
That I overlooked before.
One leaf is sunshine, the second is rain;
Third is the roses that grow in the lane.
No need explaining the one remaining,
It’s somebody I adore . . . .
I’m looking over a four-leaf clover,
That I overlooked before!

As that silly song played over and over in my head, I began to get the clover’s message … it had nothing to do with bringing good luck, but plenty to say about how to view my life and circumstances.

“One leaf is sunshine….” No matter what, the Son is shining! Despite the circumstances that we find ourselves in, we can be assured that the Son is always with us – guiding us, giving comfort, bringing peace, covering us in His love, protecting us from the evil one, and keeping us in His presence. (“I am with you always.” Matthew 28:20)

“… the second is rain….” Well, that goes without saying, right? We know that there will be dreary circumstances throughout our lives. It’s just the way life is … but how we react to those circumstances makes all the difference in how they affect us. Looking for the positive in the midst of the rain keeps us focused on HOPE instead of despair. Remembering that “all things work together for good” helps me to recognize the Son’s presence in every situation I face. (Romans 8:28) 

“…third, is the roses that grow in the lane….” If not for the rain, the roses wouldn’t be growing in the lane! As difficult as those rainy days may be, I know that the blessings in my life are often a direct result of trusting the Son through those rainy days. Deeper relationships, sharper vision and focus, and more appreciation for each day are all the roses that have grown in my life because of the rain!

“…no need explaining the one remaining, it’s somebody I adore….” Ahhh, there’s nothing like a phone call with bad news to make you stop and consider what’s really important, especially when that news means you may lose “somebody I adore”. Living with a person for over 47 years can make you take that person for granted, forget how much a part of you he is …

As I continued my walk, my frustrations and tears of hopelessness turned to prayers of HOPE for healing for my husband – not just physical healing, but emotional and spiritual healing – for him and for me, too! 

“…I’m looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before.” – I’ll never look at a four-leaf clover the same way again! I don’t see them as good-luck charms, but rather as reminders of HOPE! Sonshine through the rainy days of life that bring blessings to me and the one I adore. 

I started this post the morning of David’s surgery. It’s been a very busy four weeks since then. He’s recovering from a major surgery that removed his kidney, a huge tumor, and the surrounding tissue and fat and lymph nodes. The good news: although the tumor was cancer, the surrounding “margins” were clean! The doctor has assured us that he “got it all”! So we’re home, recovering from the physical “hit”, dealing with the mental and emotional issues that cancer throws at you, and growing spiritually as we learn to trust the Great Physician to give us the HOPE we need to move forward with our lives.

There’s certainly no luck in a four-leaf clover, but there is definitely a message of HOPE!

Donnie & Marie Osmond You-Tube video “I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover”: https://youtu.be/24963ZqW4uA

Spring flowers at the Riverside Pavilion

Friday, April 17, 2015

A not-so-quick update –

Wednesday’s surgery went well. Dr. Rento removed David’s right kidney and a football-sized tumor, and told me “I got it all” … I hope he’s right! In the process, he found that the tumor had not invaded the main renal artery significantly – it had begun to move into the artery, but not enough to cause any need for major vascular reconstruction. According to Dr. Rento, he was able to “reach in and pull it completely out of the vein.” Along with the kidney and tumor, he also removed all the surrounding fat and lymph nodes. Now we wait for pathology to let us know what it is, and how far afield it is in regard to the lymph nodes.

David spent the first night after surgery in the ICU because he had significant blood loss during the surgery (requiring a transfusion of 4 units of blood). David remembers coming to in recovery and the entire team was working frantically to get his blood pressure stabilized after it had plummeted – all that happened before the epidural pain meds had been started. The pain was intense until the blood pressure was under control and the epidural drip began. He spent about 4 hours in recovery, partly due to his blood pressure issues, but also because the hospital was in over-flow mode and rooms were not available. Finally he was taken to ICU and we were able to see him briefly before leaving for the night. Since he was in ICU with one-on-one nursing, I felt like it was safe to go home.

I returned Thursday morning around 8:15 and as I walked into ICU and looked across the way I was surprised to see him sitting in a chair in his room. However, when I got to the room and spoke with his nurse, she told me that his blood pressure had plummeted again and caused him to nearly pass out. As it turns out, they had handed him the gadget for deep breathing therapy just as he settled in the chair and told him that he need to inhale deeply 10 times every hour. Being the over-achiever that he is, David decided to get all 10 deep inhalations out of the way – basically he hyper-ventilated. Needless to say, we’ve been a bit skittish about that gadget ever since, but we’re trying to remember to do those deep breaths 3 or 4 at a time, spread over 60 minutes, and he’s doing fine!

Getting into a private room as requested was quite an ordeal. Without going into great detail, suffice it to say, that we had a civilized confrontation with the nursing manager and before supper, David’s roommate was provided his own private room, leaving us with a much cooler, quieter private room, too! I spent the night with him last night to be sure he was going to be alright … I know, he’s a grown-man, but he’s MY man and I wanted to be sure, especially after the private room fiasco, that he was going to fair well. As it turned out, everyone was kind, compassionate, and very helpful.

It was a good night, albeit, not restful! For some reason, blood drawn at 4:30am is much more useful than blood drawn at a more reasonable 6am hour … but that’s how it goes in the hospital! There were pokes and prods, checking the vitals, emptying bags, sensor alarms, and all manner of things happening throughout the night, usually about every 2 hours or less. But, in spite of all the interruptions, the night passed uneventful, except for two slightly elevated temps during the night.

The morning rounds included the anesthesiologist to check on the epidural, a lady from respiratory to reprimand David about not using the breathing gadget faithfully – 10 times in 60 minutes – and then Dr. Rento came by and looked him over, too. He reprimanded me about getting enough rest to be ready for when I bring David home early next week! I wasn’t expecting that – young whipper-snapper! That made David’s morning, since he has been fussing about me staying at the hospital instead of going home. The tables turned when Dr. Rento reminded David that his elevated temperatures during the night were directly related to not using the breathing gadget often enough! He also told David to get up and sit in the chair a couple of times a day and also to try walking some. Now that’s going to be a trick – picture David in his stylish hospital gown, dragging a catheter bag, a blood pressure monitor, an epidural tube, and a tube inserted in his neck!! Just getting him out of the bed and turned around to sit in an adjacent chair is challenging as we analyze which way to turn in order to not trip over and dislodge any dangling appendages! By tomorrow, some of those lines will be removed and walking will be easier!

I left him this morning in the loving care of our son, Andy, while I came home to shower and change clothes and run some errands. A few minutes ago I sent a text message to Andy, asking how Dad was doing and his response was “Very good. He ate all his lunch. Little walk in the room. Hour long nap. He ran me out at 1.” So there’s progress!

We have been blessed with the faithful attention of our kids and their spouses. When David was wheeled off to surgery, I dropped by the sandwich shop in the waiting area for lunch. What a surprise when I stepped out of the sandwich shop and saw my son-in-law waiting for me. He spent the afternoon with me, and we were later joined by Andy, Rebecca, our pastor, and a good friend. Everyone was determined that I would not be alone as I waited. And when I got home later that evening, my sweet daughter-in-law appeared at the back door with supper for me. My grandsons have been faithful dog-walkers while their Poppy is out of commission. Mollie is missing Poppy, but she’s happy for the attention of the kids!

I’ll be heading back in time to have supper with David tonight … don’t want to miss that clear liquid diet … UGH! Can’t wait to get him home and feed him some real food!