As you may have guessed from previous posts, I have a heart for spiritually single women. I am one! And yet, there is hope for us spiritually single ladies. We can live spiritually productive lives in spite of our spiritually single circumstances, if we’re willing to allow God to work in and through us. My prayer is that these posts about Biblical spiritually single women, will give us some guidelines for living fully and abundantly in the place where God has allowed us to be.

Today we’ll look at Abigail’s story and search the scriptures for the message of HOPE that she has for us who are unequally yoked. Those spiritually single women who are not married can learn some lessons about avoiding a marriage that will perpetuate spiritually singleness.

Abigail’s story begins in 1 Samuel 25. She’s the wife of a wealthy, but “surly and mean” man. Her husband, Nabal, treats David and his men with contempt, refusing to compensate them for services rendered. His selfish behavior when David requests provisions for his men is an embarrassment to Abigail when she hears about the incident from her servants. So, she rushes to repair the damage and avert the revenge. And eventually she ends up married to the King! Quite a story, eh?!

In reading her story, several questions arise about her situation. Some of these same questions probably enter the minds of folks when they encounter spiritually single ladies today. For example, how did Abigail end up in such a terrible marriage? Well, obviously in that time and culture, women were given in marriage for a number of reasons, and probably none of those reasons had anything to do with the bride’s feelings for the groom or her wishes regarding a marriage partner. No doubt Abigail didn’t have any say in the choice of her husband.

But what about today? Why do so many women find themselves in unequally-yoked relationships? In my case, my groom was charming, handsome, loving, and I entered our marriage with my eyes wide open, EXCEPT for the fact that he and I did not share the same commitment to spiritual matters. He was, and is, a GOOD man. And many spiritually single ladies are in relationships with good men. But without that mutual love of Jesus, and commitment to His Kingdom, the unequally-yoked relationship can’t grow and mature.

Among the lessons to be learned from Abigail:
Unequal yokes do not promote true and lasting happiness.

Then there’s the question about Abigail loading up all those donkeys with food and supplies to take to David and his men to assuage him and hopefully prevent a tragedy back home. Should a spiritually single wife use her husband’s resources for her own good deeds? As a young wife years ago, I was convicted of our responsibility to tithe. However, my husband, a non-believer at the time, had no sense of obligation toward the church or God as far as “his” money was concerned. So, since I was the one controlling the purse strings at the time, I took it upon myself to tithe my husband’s income. After one or two checks, I was more convicted to “obey” my husband than to tithe out of a sense of duty. Since then, I have tithed my own income, and left my husband to God’s conviction!

But, back to Abigail – how did she justify her actions in taking all those supplies to David? Her husband, Nabal, was evil and “churlish”, but he was her husband. And in her loyalty to her husband, and her obvious concern for their family and community, she took a risk with her husband’s resources in order to save lives. Abigail was a strong and brave lady!

There are a couple of lessons here for us:
In spite of our circumstances we must remain strong in our convictions
when they are founded in truth,
and we must be brave enough to act if the situation requires it.

Moving on we see Abigail approaching David with humility, courage, and resolve. She would do whatever was necessary to save her family from destruction. And I’ll bet she realized that Nabal’s horrible behavior toward David earlier had justified the pending doom! But she reached out in an effort to dissuade David from taking revenge. As spiritually single ladies we often see our men say and do things that embarrass us and cause us to cringe. But as loving wives we try to fix and repair the damage that may result from those thoughtless words and actions. I daresay most of us don’t have to dissuade an army from wiping out our family, but we probably find ourselves making amends for unintended hurts.

Despite our spiritually single status we are valuable and can lead productive lives, serving and preserving those we love. We can be faithful and loving toward our husbands, and still remain faithful to God, using His provisions for us for service and ministry, both within our family and our community.

One writer pointed out that Abigail did several things right,
but she also did some wrong things for the right reasons.

It was right for her to:
• Spring into action as soon as she became aware of the emergency.
• Assume the blame for her husband’s behavior, knowing that her punishment would be lighter, and therefore she could save her family from greater punishment.
• Speak and act with humility.
• Suggest an alternative action that could lead to a more positive outcome.
• Seek forgiveness for her husband’s insults.
• Compliment David on his character and remind him of God’s promise for his future.
• Encourage David to allow God to settle things with Nabal.

This writer also pointed out some things that Abigail did wrong, although, I believe, for the right reason:
• She acted without her husband’s approval or permission to “spend” his resources.
• She criticized her husband to David.
• She may have suggested that that David take revenge on Nabal since he alone was guilty and needed “correction” but not the rest of the family.
• She encouraged David’s future consideration of her. (Imagine her batting her eyelashes and implying “Do this for me, and maybe I’ll do something for you.”)
• She was not submissive or respectful to her husband, although she was both toward David.
Although these actions may have been “wrong” they were no doubt justified because of the life-or-death circumstances she faced.

As spiritually single, we may find ourselves drawn to someone who seems more “spiritual” than our unbelieving husband. But, like Abigail we must be humble but strong in our resolve to remain faithful to our husband, trusting that God will protect us and use us to draw our husband to Himself. However, I do not believe that God expects any spiritually single woman to remain in an abusive relationship. But escaping from an abusive husband is not justification to become involved in a relationship that is dishonoring to God.

Our spiritually single stories may not resolve like Abigail’s. Her horrible husband was stricken and died, and then she married King-elect David. Her story is a message of HOPE for us! The resolution of your story may be that God will transform your husband into His follower, and your Prince Charming!

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2

Put yourself in Abigail’s sandals … How would you have reacted to Nabal’s foolishness?

We interrupt the regularly scheduled blog post about spiritually single ladies in the Bible to write an assignment for the 7-Day Blogging Challenge I’m trying to participate in. I say “trying” because I completely lost a day when LIFE happened on Day #2 and on Day #3! So, I’m skipping the assignment for Day #2, for the moment … I’ll be back to catch that later today – that is, unless LIFE throws me another one of “those” days!

Yesterday’s assignment was to write a post that picks a fight. Our challenge leader, Jeff Goins, gave a number of reasons why we should approach writing from this perspective, and trusting his wisdom, I’m going to give it a shot. But, this is not an easy assignment for this grandmother. You know grandmothers are supposed to be peacemakers and mediators. We’ve spent our whole life mediating fights between our kids and, and now, their kids, attempting to bring peace and love and joy into our homes. We’re supposed to be sweet and loving, wearing smiles and aprons with a bit of cookie dough smeared on the front! And, although, that’s NOT a picture of this grandmother, I still am a die-hard non-confrontationist (Is that even a word?)! So the very idea of “picking a fight” just goes against the grain for me!

That was true until yesterday! I mentioned that LIFE happened and threw me off-track. I was busy, busy, busy, but just dragging through the busy-ness. I’ve had busy days before, and I usually take them in stride and plow on through. But yesterday I just couldn’t catch up. I was frustrated because I couldn’t get through the “have-to” list so I could get to my “want-to” list (like the Blog Challenge!). Then I realized that my get-up-and-go left with the hour we lost Sunday morning when Daylight Saving Time arrived!

Now I prefer living life within the rules! I don’t like to make waves. So if Uncle Sam says “spring forward” I tend to spring; and then when he says “fall back” I follow suit! However, with every year I gain and every hour I loose, I get a bit more frustrated, if not downright angry, with good-ole Uncle! Whoever thought up this concept of “Daylight Saving Time” must have been crazy! Can we even save daylight by stealing an hour of time? And what’s even crazier, is that NO ONE seems to like it, and yet we ALL keep changing our clocks back and forth as we grumble and complain about how stupid it is!

I suppose there are those who actually like the teeter-totter, back-and-forth, energy-sapping, and schedule-skewing of DST. But, I don’t!

It seems to me that God, in His Ultimate Wisdom, created the world with a PERFECT scheme in place to coordinate waking and sleeping, working and resting, sowing and reaping, and all the other systems of life. But man came along with his appointments and deadlines, clocks and watches, and decided to improve on perfection! I guess we can no longer depend on sundials to get us up and at it in today’s world, but somehow I don’t think we need to mess with that one hour every spring and fall! And how does one little hour make such a major impact on life anyway!

It has been suggested that we “split the difference” and then leave well-enough alone! So come November we should “fall back” only one-half hour, then never touch the clock again! Problem solved! Except for those few rational states that never adopted the stupid crazy DST idea in the first place!

But, alas, like most issues of a political nature, this craziness will go on, and on, and on! It seems once we create a rut, no matter how insane or senseless, we can’t ever get out of it! DST is most likely here to stay, whether we like it or not, whether it makes sense or not, we’re stuck with it! SIGH! I guess it’s silly to waste energy that’s already sapped on a lost hour! We’ll get it back in November, right! Yeah, right!

A few years ago I led a young women’s Bible study class called the Hope Class. As the wife of a non-attender, I saw the need for this type of class, a support group as it were, for women like me – I needed encouragement and HOPE to help me in my journey as an unequally-yoked believer. As I looked around our small congregation, I realized that a number of other ladies in our church family were in the same situation. And so, the Hope class was born!

It was designed to meet the needs of, and offer encouragement (and HOPE) to, women who were “spiritually single.” We defined “spiritually single” as someone who attended church alone – either because she was unmarried or married to a non-believer or non-attender. Sometimes the wives of church leaders or ministers attended our class because their husbands were involved in their own ministry which did not include their wives. It made for a dynamic mix of personalities! Divorced, widowed, never-married, married to ministers, and unequally-yoked (Christian wife married to non-Christian husband) women gathered together to study God’s Word. We had sessions of laughter, tears, anger, fear, love, support, and hope based on the truth we found in scripture. Sometimes the truth hurt, but the class always provided a sense of belonging and community that we all needed.

Then I was forced to take a “leave of absence” while I battled cancer. The class continued for a while, but as is often the case, circumstances changed and the class disbanded. However, I continue to hold dear the memories of those ladies, wondering where they’ve all ended up and praying for them as the Lord brings them to mind. I’ve even considered trying to resurrect the class at church, but find myself in a season of life that prevents me from getting involved in activities outside of work and home. So every time I think about the Hope class, or spiritually single ladies, I wonder how I can offer Hope from my current situation.

Then, while reading my usual devotional booklet the other morning, I was reminded once again of the idea of ministering to the spiritually single. The reading that morning was from 1 Samuel 25. It was the story of David’s army being rebuffed by the evil Nabal, David’s determination to get even, and Abigail’s efforts to appease David and avert tragedy after her husband’s ill treatment of David and his men. As I read about Abigail, it hit me that this was a “spiritually single” woman!

How many more spiritually single women are recorded in scripture? And what can we learn from them? Is there a lesson here? DUH! Of course, it’s in the Bible, there’s got to be a lesson for us in each of their stories. And an idea for a new Hope class was born – an online class!

I’ve spent some time in the past couple of days checking out all the women listed in the Bible to see how many of them would qualify as spiritually single. It seems there are quite a few.

So I’ll devote the next several blog posts to those biblical ladies who have messages for us about how to live in today’s world as spiritually single. I’ll begin tomorrow with Abigail, since she’s the one who got my attention.

What challenges do you face as a spiritually single person? What help do you need? What hope can we offer you?
Although being spiritually single can feel lonely, we are never alone, because we are always …

In His Presence,
bb

It’s no secret, I LOVE to read! And one of my favorite reading resources is the Reader’s Digest that arrives in my mailbox every month. It brings a variety of subjects, opinions, theories, and perspectives for me to consider, learn from, or discount. Often I’m inspired by stories of good deeds done, or horrified by outrageous injustices, or puzzled by scientific theories. And sometimes, as was the case this month, I’m motivated to search the Scriptures to discount or counter an article that doesn’t “sit right.”

A short and thought-provoking article called “How to Get Lucky – four habits that can set us all up for good fortune” caught my attention to the point that I couldn’t get it out of my head. Here’s the thing, I just don’t believe in “luck.” So this article kind of grabbed me by the eyeballs and made me think about the difference in Good Luck and Real Hope. Although I view the concept of luck with a bit of disdain, there was something about that article that reminded me of Scripture passages that are familiar and precious to me. How crazy is that – an article about luck bringing scripture to my mind!

Allow me to unpack my thoughts a bit. I think of Luck as “chance.” Webster’s simple definition of chance is the possibility that something will happen or the way that events happen when they are not planned or controlled by people. The RD article’s sub-title, “four habits that can set us all up for good fortune” appears to be counter to the chance concept. The idea put forth in the article seems to suggest that we can enhance the possibility for good fortune or chance or luck by our own efforts. Hmmmm???

I would suggest that Hope is a more secure concept for us to pursue. Now Webster’s definition of hope goes like this: to cherish a desire with anticipation, to trust, to desire with expectation of obtainment, to expect with confidence. Look at how different the hope descriptions are: desire with anticipation, trust, expectation of obtainment, expect with confidence. Whereas luck is described as possibility, not planned, not controlled. I’ll take trust and confidence over possibility any day!

In the RD article, the writer offered four ways to promote good luck. As I pondered those suggested habits, I was reminded of several scripture passages that, rather than totally countering the habits, give them a more hopeful perspective. See what you think.

1. The writer said “Expect good things” because “expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies.” Self-assurance, according to the writer, makes one more motivated and optimistic, and the more chances one will risk to succeed. But Romans 15:13 says: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. That tells me that I don’t have to “take chances” because I can TRUST and HOPE (have confidence) that God will bring joy, peace, power – and that says “success” to me!

2. The writer further advises “Court chance” by meeting more people, throwing a little chaos into your life, staying open to possibilities. The mere mention of the word “chaos” doesn’t do it for me! That’s definitely not what I want in my life! But chaos will come if we strike out on our own. Is chaos really a sign of “good luck”? In Proverbs 3:5-6 Solomon says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I don’t have to “court chance” by leaning on my own understanding, because I can TRUST the Lord and when I do, He will make my way clear – no chaos here!

3. The writer says we should “Look for silver linings.” This is where she caught my attention most, because I thought “she’s on to something here.” However she sees this concept as “lucky” where I see it from this Biblical view: In Romans 8:28 we read, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. She says: “Finding value in bad luck can help your brain process situations differently….Lucky people are able to transform a stumbling block into a positive event.” The “silver lining” for me is not just a matter of finding value in bad luck, but rather knowing that God is in control, that He has my best interest in mind, and that He will bring good out of the “bad luck” that comes with life.

4. Finally she states “Trust your gut.” She shares an account of a woman who “trusted her gut” and pulled over just before a trucker lost control and crashed. The woman would have been involved in a devastating accident if she hadn’t “trusted her gut” and pulled off the road. Well, I have to say that my gut isn’t trustworthy, but my God is! I believe that the Holy Spirit is actively involved in my life and often He will direct me out of danger. Holy Spirit, Guardian Angel, your gut … which is it? Does it matter what we call “it”? As a believer, I’ll just go with the psalmist who says in Psalm 91:2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Now I know there will be those who counter this with Why? Why was one person directed out of danger and not the one who was caught in the crash? Well, there are no easy answers to those kinds of questions. There are lots and lots of speculations, but that’s much too much to tackle here! Bottom line for me is that whatever happens, whether I’m directed out of danger or caught in the crash of life, God will bring good because He loves me and knows what’s best for me. I don’t have to “trust my gut” as long as I trust my God!

As for me, I choose to claim the promise of God as it’s so beautifully stated in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God’s plans for me include hope — No luck needed!

Good Luck or Real Hope? Maybe it’s two sides of the same coin – secular view vs. scriptural view? What do you think?

Check out the article on page 35 in the February 2016 issue of Reader’s Digest, “How to Get Lucky” by Kate Rockwood, from Health.com.

Earlier this week I celebrated my birthday, my 67th birthday, SIXTY-SEVENTH birthday … Holy Moley! When did that happen?!?

It was a day much like any other, busy with all the things that fill my life these days – family needs like the grocery store excursion with my mom, fixing meals for my “under-the-weather” husband, lending emotional support while he tends to his ailing mom; completing a few tasks for my church; taking care of a couple of to-do list items at work; running an errand for a friend; and so the day quickly evaporated.

However, throughout the day, beginning at 12:24am, I heard my smart phone pinging with “Happy Birthday!” wishes from so many friends and family! And although I couldn’t stop and respond to each one as they came through, I was encouraged by the thoughtfulness and kindness of all those who took a moment to send their blessings! Each of those “pings” reminded me that I am not alone. I have loved ones, near and far, who care enough to take the time to say “Happy Birthday”.

I must admit that during these past few months, I’ve felt somewhat isolated as I’ve made home and husband my priority; and severed, at least temporarily, my ties to other commitments like church and friends and extended family. I have no doubt that this new prioritization of my life is precisely what I’ve been called to do at this season of my life. BUT, it’s been challenging to be content! So, hearing all those “pings” reminded me that I’m not forgotten! Thank you, friends and family, for the encouragement and HOPE you sent my way on my birthday.

Since January 13, 2007, birthdays are more than anniversaries of my birth, they are milestone markers on my survival journey. Every January 13th since 2007 is a reminder that God has granted me another year of life. And on each birthday I make a renewed commitment to not just survive but to thrive, and to not waste any opportunity that He gives me to offer HOPE and encouragement to others.

Let’s face it, we’re all on survival journeys! Some of us are still on that bumpy cancer road, or we’re reeling from a wrecked relationship, or we’re facing a financial failure, or we’re recovering from the death of a loved one, or we’re coping with wayward children, or maybe we’re just adjusting to a new season of life (Happy Birthday!). No matter what our individual journey looks like God offers HOPE through His Word, through His Church, through His Children, and through prayer!

Look at the HOPE Jesus offers in His Word: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Now that gives me HOPE!

And how about the HOPE He promises for the future: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:1-3 NIV)

His Body, the Church, whether big or small, is a safe place for His Children to find support and love and Hope. But sometimes, when circumstances prevent you from being in the presence of His Body, that support comes through “pings” on the ole smartphone from His Children offering love and HOPE via technology!

And the assurance that the Father is always waiting to hear our hearts through prayer (For he is always watching, never sleeping. Psalm 121:4 TLB); and the Holy Spirit comes along side us to help us pray when we don’t even know what to pray (the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. Romans 8:26 NIV), is the ultimate offering of HOPE on our survival journey.

So thank you for your many “Happy Birthday” wishes! And know that those two simple words conveyed a monumental message of HOPE to me on my journey.

What journey are you on today? How have you found HOPE to survive that journey?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
John 1:1-3

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Revelation 3:20-21

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5

His birth was for his death; his death was for our birth!

Christ is alive, and He is with us today. He invites us to enter into His story of HOPE, LOVE, JOY, and PEACE, during Advent, at Christmas, and throughout the coming New Year.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, announcing the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. Acts 10:36

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him. The Lord has made his salvation known and revealed his righteousness to the nations. He has remembered his love and his faithfulness to Israel; all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God. Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the Lord with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—shout for joy before the Lord, the King. Psalm 98:1-6

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100

The celebration of Christ’s birth must not stop now. This time of Advent is simply preparation for a life filled with HOPE, LOVE, JOY, and PEACE as we trust in God’s unfailing LOVE.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

“As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” John 9:4-5

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.